Talking Climate Politics with your Conservative Uncle at Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving weekend. Your family is gathered around the dining table and you’re on your second helping of dinner when your Conservative unclestarts spouting one of his usual political rants. Before you choke on your mashed potatoes, take three, deep, drama-quelling breaths and consult this handy guide for a few zingers and hopefully change some minds before dessert.

“The Conservatives know what’s best for protecting Canada’s economy!”

Groan. It’s tempting to just help yourself to some more sweet potato and ignore these comments, but with just a week to go until the federal election, you can’t let this one slide.

“Have you heard of the carbon bubble?!  Our oil needs to stay in the ground, but Harper has made our economy too dependent on fossil fuels. Even Mark Carney, the Governor of the Bank of England, says so. The Tories recite slogans about protecting the economy, but won’t even listen up to the dangers of their oil-driven economic strategy. So sorry to burst your carbon bubble, but investing in the oil sands putting our economy at serious risk.”

“Canada needs the oil industry—the oil sands provide good jobs and Canadians need them!”

What a blast from the past. New data doesn’t support this. Time for you to myth-bust this one!

“Actually, Canada's clean energy sector has jumped 37% in the past five years and employs more people in Canada than the tar sands—almost 24 thousand compared to a little over 22 thousand. Oil dependence is like a roller coaster ride with the whole Canadian economy rising or falling following one single, unpredictable commodity. If we want an economy with stable growth and job creation, we need to diversify our energy sector and invest in renewables ASAP. Old fashioned is how I like Grandma’s awesome pumpkin pie recipe, not my economic policy.”

“But Canada’s carbon emissions have FALLEN under Harper’s government!”

Uh-oh, looks like someone has fallen for Harper’s playfulness with the truth in the recent leaders’ debates. Better set this one straight once and for all!

“Carbon emissions only declined for one year under Harper's leadership—and that was because of the economic crisis, and despite his policies. As the economy recovered and growth was up, so were our emissions. Harper has also tried to take credit for provincial carbon reduction initiatives after having fought against them tooth and nail. A good example is Ontario’s provincial initiative to phase out coal. The truth is: the Harper government has only stood in the way of progress on emissions. Harper needs to get off the gravy train and stop taking credit for carbon reductions made by the provinces, and by that I do not mean this delicious Thanksgiving gravy!”

“We need to get our oil to market to keep our economy healthy!”

You can't blame your family for thinking this. The way the Conservatives have spun it, anyone could think that oil from the tar sands is the only thing standing between us and the zombie apocalypse. Move over Rick Grimes, you got this.

“Pipelines are kind of like a last shot attempt to save a dying high-carbon economy. There have been at least five major pipeline spills in recent years affecting communities' health and draining resources on cleanup. Whichever way we want to transport our oil— pipelines, trains or supertankers— each choice is always going to mean moving dangerous oil across our communities and rivers. The best way to achieve energy sovereignty for Canada is not to depend on other countries to buy our dirty oil, but through community-owned renewable energy. All over the world, countries are moving on to clean technologies. Germany, for instance, manages to be an economic leader and a clean energy trailblazer. It already has 1,000 energy cooperatives around the country and hasn’t imploded into chaos yet.”

“What is so bad about Bill C51 anyways?”

There's really only one way to handle this. Face-palm. Cut yourself a big slice of pumpkin pie. Eat. Sigh. Look your uncle squarely in the eyes, and say:

“Seriously? Have you read 1984? Harper clearly has, and I'm pretty sure he thought it was a how-to guide and not a satire or cautionary tale. Even Trudeau is a victim of Harper's Double-Think by voting for the irredeemable C-51. The bill treats exercising basic democratic rights like an act of terrorism. Experts say this bill will make it harder to fight terrorism while taking away our democratic rights.”
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