THE HOCKEY FORMULA.

1. One Goalie times the speed of light squared.
2. Four men box penalty defense, solid and dense and self
   sacrificing...expendable.
3. Two lightning fast Box Trap synchronized defense men
   with dangerous slap shots capable of moving
   from right point to middle and from middle to
   left point in conjunction with Puck location behind
   opposing net. Watch synchronized swimming for examples.
   Also expendable.
4. Three lightning fast forwards each with 20/20 vision or
   non fogging prescription helmet glass capable of
   withstanding multiple bashing against boards.
   Must have superior puck control and wrist shot accuracy.
   Golf shots not recommended.
5. All players must have full Puck control and superb pin
   point sixth-sense passing ability. Ask your local Priest
   or Guru for help and make sure your helmets are
   equipped with small communication devices linked to the
   coaches. Watch football for examples.

6. Remuneration will be in pain control pills during the
   Stanley Cup play-offs.

For a job interview see Mark Bergevin.

General Manager, Montreal Canadians Hockey Association.