Saturday, November 12, 2022

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Freedom with honesty and justice and courage…Compassion with dignity, tolerance and humour…Peace with love and harmony towards all life on Earth.
All that ever was still is constantly changing within the eternal energy of the universe and the only
 constant is constant change.
Welcome to my index of fun and high education web sites! Return as often as you like.  
 Nelson Joseph Raglione/

26.  http://www.iTooch.com  How to greatly improve our school systems.

        Here are direct links to non profit foundations helping war ravaged Ukraine.

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Wednesday, November 9, 2022

 

Once upon a time.

There once was a grump by the name of Trump

Who did not want to pay taxes...

He decided one day to find a friend to delay

His paying government taxes...   

It is a crime but I will give you the time

Said the Russian President...

It is a sin but I want you to win 

That U.S. election event...

When you become boss they won't notice the loss

Of money from the U.S. mint...

Like me you will be on top of the ladder                      

strategically glad to be

President!

"Yes...yes"...said Trump with a very large grin...

"You are my good friend"...Mr. Putin...

 And so they survived smiling and laughing until

somebody burned their ladders!

N.J.R.

   

 

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Sunday, November 6, 2022

 Wow! Another Democratic election is arriving for the lucky people of the United States!

Do you remember when Donald Trump said and I quote:

"PUTIN IS MY FRIEND!"

 Hey Donald, with friends like Putin, who needs enemies?!

 I hear that once again you want to run for president of the U. S.? Okay, Donald, my question is will you be bringing your friend along with you? Remember how last time your friend tried to rig the election? I am hazarding a guess that with a friend like Putin running the White House, it should make for an interesting mix of personalities.

 Well that's all I have to say for now and so see you at the polls...maybe in Moscow! Bye Donald!

N.J.R.

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 To the Soldiers of Russia now stationed in the Ukraine.

 If your president holds true to his word, he will drop nuclear bombs on the Ukraine.

I am sure you understand that you will be under those bombs? Will he warn you to return home before he sends in nuclear missiles? Probably not! Do you realize he is insane? Do not let a nuclear disaster happen!! Now is the time for you to go home and clean up your government. It is passed the time your insane president, Vladimir Putin, is arrested and placed in a mental institution for the rest of his life. Don't wait for Spring but please do it now and do not allow Putin's small army of private armed guards stop you. They are highly paid thugs who will run when they see real soldiers approaching. 

 I wish you a safe return home and please understand how the whole world is watching and hoping you have the courage and strength to do what is right. Go home and bring as many soldiers with you to create a new government for Peace and Democracy and for the People of Russia.

Signed: Nelson Joseph Raglione. 

Director: The World Friendly Peace and Ecology Movement.

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IS THE STOCK MARKET CONTROLLED BY CRIMINALS?

 If you gamble you lose is what they told me.  Buying stocks is a big risk is what they told me.

My question is who is controlling the stock market and why is it not regulated by government? Why did stocks from Walt Disney suddenly go down in value when the Disney company continues to be one of the best companies on Earth? The same can be said for the richest banks on earth. Why are their stocks suddenly down in value taking my money down along with them when they are the richest banks on Earth? What in hell is going on?!!

 The apologetic explanations are often long and complicated but the results continue to be the same. The stocks continue to rise for pennies baiting investors into investing and then they drop for thousands of Dollars! In my opinion the reason I lost money is because I am a small fish in a Shark tank! The stock market is filled with gambling sharks and I am not a good gambler. If stocks were linked directly to companies as opposed to floating freely in a large game of Texas Hold Em, investors might have a chance to earn extra dollars. As it is when the market pool sinks, investors drown by the thousands.

I have been told by a reliable source that companies are subject to rumours and when a false rumour is spread a company's stock can drop in value within minutes, even if the company is one of the best on Earth.

 "Hold on to your stocks as they will gain value as time goes by." Or so I've been told.  Ok, but what if I die before my stock finally pays a dividend? What if my stock disintegrates before the long run is completed? 

 I believe I am going to sell out while I still have a few dollars left in my pockets. 

Good Luck to the rest of you gamblers and watch out for Sharks!

N.J.R.  

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Saturday, October 15, 2022

 DEAR T.E.E.O.T.U.

 Please make Vladimir Putin stop threatening the world with Atomic Bombs!

 I am certain he does not understand or comprehend your existence. Nothing he does will stop your omnipresent power. 

THE FACT THAT VLADIMIR PUTIN IS ONE OF THE MOST CRUEL HUMAN BEINGS ALIVE TODAY DOES NOT MEAN HE IS ONE OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT HUMAN BEINGS. 

1. HE WANTED TO QUICKLY ANEX THE UKRAIN BY FORCE AND HE FAILED.

2. HE SENT THOUSANDS OF SOLDIERS INTO BATTLE UNTRAINED AND UNPREPARED.

3. HE UNDERESTIMATED THE COURAGE AND STRENGTH OF THE UKRAINIAN PEOPLE.

4. HE SENT MISSILES TO KILL AND DESTROY INDISCRIMINATELY ALL  OVER THE UKRAIN.

5. HE THREATENED TO USE NUCLEAR BOMBS IN ORDER TO WIN.

6. IF HIS REASON FOR ATTACKING THE INNOCENT PEOPLE OF UKRAIN WAS TO USURP THE WHEAT AND MINERALS, WHY IS HE NOW THREATENING TO DROP ATOMIC BOMBS ON THE PLACE? NUCLEAR BOMBS WILL CERTAINLY KEEP  UKRAIN OFF-LIMITS AND OUT OF HIS CONTROL FOR DECADES INTO THE FUTURE AND NOBODY, ANYWHERE, WILL WANT TO EAT RADIATED WHEAT!

7.  SO WHY THE NUCLEAR BOMB THREATS?

8. THE ANSWER IN MY HUMBLE OPINION IS THAT PUTIN IS A MEGALOMANIAC WHO WANTS TO REBUILD THE OLD COMMUNIST EMPIRE WITH HIMSELF AS THE LEADER. 

9. HERE IS A GOOD QUESTION FOR PUTIN. DOES HE REALIZE THAT THE MIGHTY T.E.E.O.T.U. WILL CONTINUE TO EXIST WITHOUT HIM?

10. T.E.E.O.T.U. IS AN ACRONYM FOR THE ETERNAL ENERGY OF THE UNIVERSE AND IN MY PHILOSOPHICAL UNDERSTANDING,  IT WILL ALWAYS EXIST EVEN IF LIFE ON EARTH CEASES TO EXIST.

N.J.R.


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Monday, October 10, 2022

From Eric Barker

The *Secret* Way To An Awesome Life: 4 Insights Backed By Research


(Click here to read on the blog) 

I’ve got a secret.

In fact, I’ve got 13 of them. So do you. That’s the average number of secrets people say they have when surveyed. Five of them are “complete secrets” – you’ve never told anybody. And eight more are “confided secrets” – you’ve told at least one other person but won’t be going public with it anytime soon.

A study of 2000 people in the US revealed the most common types of secrets. 92% of the time secrets fit into these categories:
  • Hurt another person (emotionally or physically)
  • Illegal drug use, or abuse of a legal drug
  • Habit or addiction (but not involving drugs)
  • Theft
  • Something illegal (other than drugs or theft).
  • Physical self-harm
  • Abortion
  • A traumatic experience (other than the above)
  • A lie
  • A violation of someone’s trust (other than by a lie)
  • Romantic desire (while single)
  • Romantic discontent
  • Extra-relational thoughts
  • Emotional infidelity
  • Infidelity
  • A relationship with someone who is cheating on someone else to be with you
  • Social discontent (unhappy with a friend, or unhappy with current social life)
  • Physical discontent (dislike of appearance or something physical about yourself)
  • Mental health struggles
  • Inappropriate behavior at work or school (or lying to get hired or accepted)
  • Poor performance at work or school
  • Profession/work discontent (unhappy with your situation at work or school)
  • A planned marriage proposal
  • A planned surprise for someone (other than a marriage proposal)
  • A hidden hobby or possession
  • A hidden current (or past) relationship
  • A family secret
  • Pregnancy
  • Orientation or gender identity
  • Not having sex
  • A hidden preference (or non-preference) for something
  • A hidden belief (e.g., political, religious, views about social groups, prejudices)
  • Finances (e.g., spending, amount of money you have)
  • A hidden current (or past) employment or school activity
  • An ambition, plan, or goal for yourself
  • A specific story you keep secret (unrelated to the above)
Can you relate to any of the above? I’m guessing you can. (With apologies to Nietzsche, “When you stare into the internet, the internet stares also into you.”)

Here’s the thing: often, keeping secrets isn’t good for us. Especially the ones that nag at you. We don’t need to announce them on an LCD billboard in Times Square but we’d be better off if we opened up to someone. That’s not always an easy thing to do – so let’s find a way to make it easier.

We’re going to dive into the hidden world of secrets and get a better idea of how they work, how they make us feel, how we can cope and who we should talk to.

We’re going to get some help from the work of Michael Slepian. He’s a professor of leadership and ethics at Columbia University. He’s done an enormous amount of research on secrets (a Starbucks employee once confided in him that she gives decaf to customers that are rude to her.) His book is “The Secret Life of Secrets.”

Let’s get to it...


The Downside Of Not Opening Up


More than a hundred studies have shown a consistent pattern: if your go-to way of dealing with issues is bottling them up, you’re gonna have problems. Not talking about your difficulties is correlated with health issues and lower life satisfaction. But that’s not all...

Keeping secrets harms your relationships. Study subjects who kept secrets from their spouse reported being less comfortable accepting kindness from their partner, got less enjoyment out of social activities and were more interested in self-punishing activities like isolation, receiving criticism and even lab tasks that caused physical pain. Yeesh.

And if that’s not enough, keeping secrets makes you dumber. Monitoring what you say so you don’t spill the beans is cognitively draining. Researcher Clayton Critcher told subjects not to use the words “breakfast” or “therefore” and then asked them a series of questions. Cognitive performance on a series of subsequent tasks plummeted. It was like playing a mental version of “the floor is lava.” When we have to choose every word we say with a pair of tweezers, we get stupid real fast.

But the worst part wasn’t talking with others – it was how secret-keepers felt when they were alone. Conversations are a limited part of your day, but guilty rumination can be limitless. The more unresolved an issue was, the more shame, guilt and anxiety we feel.

Meanwhile, opening up helps. Michael found, in general, the more people disclose, the healthier and happier their relationships were.

Now I’m not saying all secrets will be well received but research shows that those close to you are much more charitable than you’d expect. Rarely does one fact overturn everything they feel about you. They’re probably not going to hate you and they’re probably not going to double up on the floor and laugh like a hyena. They’re much more likely to say, “I’ve had an experience like that too.”

As I talked about in my book, vulnerability often makes people like us more. Through a complicated system of emotional ropes and pulleys, it makes people feel closer to us and builds trust. When deciding whether or not to open up, treat the issue of “What will people think?” as a real question, rather than a scary rhetorical one.

But what if this is something you really, really, reallycan’t tell anyone?


If You Must Keep It A Secret


I don’t want to come off as naïve. Some secrets, if shared, could be devastating. (It’s more than a little disconcerting to realize you could blow your life up in less than 5 text messages.)

Some secrets may feel shameful and embarrassing but don’t really impact anyone other than you (“I wet myself in front of my fourth-grade class and still have nightmares about it”) but other secrets directly impact others and could deeply hurt them.

Michael found that the more immoral a secret is, the more shame you feel. The more solitary and personal it is, the more isolated a secret makes you. And the more a secret is emotional vs logical, the less insight you have into it. This points to the three ways that secrets often hurt us: shame, loneliness and lack of insight. But that also points to three angles that can help us cope.

Ask yourself:
  • Is anyone harmed by this secret? If no one is harmed by your secret, remember that past mistakes are in the past. You just need to give yourself permission to move on.
  • Does the secret protect anyone you know? If the secret protects or benefits someone else, you can find solace in knowing that however bad it may be, this action isn’t purely selfish.
  • Do you have any insight into it? Just understanding why you are keeping a secret can help you feel more in control of the issue and better able to deal with it.
Studies show that considering these things notably increases people’s ability to cope and improves their well-being when the secret was something they couldn’t share.

But there is another solution… maybe you can talk to someone about it. However, this raises yet another question – who?


Who To Talk To


Michael surveyed thousands of people and found that most of us would prefer to share our secrets with someone compassionate. No surprise there. But we also like the idea of talking to someone who is assertive and decisive – someone who will push us to explore solutions and do something about it.

He also learned what we do not want in confidantes: blabbermouths and moral judgment. (Michael also found people who are morally judgmental are more likely to blab your secret, so make sure to open up to someone who has a similar moral code.)

More often than not, sharing secrets doesn’t burden the other person. In a study of 200 subjects, Michael found that listeners were happy to learn the other person’s secret. It conveyed trust and intimacy.

And the big question – do the people we talk to keep our secrets confidential? 70% of the time, they do. You know what? That number doesn’t exactly thrill me. Probably doesn’t thrill you either.

So there’s another alternative to explore – opening up to someone unconnected to you. If you’re afraid that someone spreading your secret would absolutely kill you to death, telling a stranger, a therapist, or a wise Uber driver can be a good way to have your cake and eat it too. You get the secret off your chest, but the risks are minimized.

And opening up really did help people. Michael’s work showed the more someone was worried about a secret, the better they felt after discussing it. On our own we often dwell on the most catastrophic result. Talking to someone else can give us a more positive and realistic perspective as opposed to just cycling the doom loop faster.

But what if there is absolutely no one you would feel comfortable talking to? Well, there’s a solution for that too...


If You Can't Talk To Anyone


If you feel that opening up to anyone would put bullet holes in your soul, then write about your secret.

University of Texas at Austin professor James Pennebaker has found that writing about our problems can have effects similar to therapy. And it can help you avoid those negative health issues associated with bottling things up. (More details about Pennebaker’s writing method here.)

This a good option and very safe – but you don’t get all the benefits of opening up to a real person. If you’re the type who catastrophizes issues into some apocalyptic End of Days scenario, writing isn’t the best way to soothe yourself. It doesn’t give the emotional support a friend can. Other people can challenge your negative assumptions in ways that Microsoft Word cannot. But if talking to someone doesn’t seem like a realistic option, writing can be a helpful mental disinfectant.

Okay, we’ve covered a lot. Let’s round it all up – and we’ll find out the best way to deal with the good secrets we might be keeping...


Sum Up


Here’s how to deal with secrets:
  • The Downside Of Not Opening Up: Not opening up hurts your health, your relationships and makes you dumber. No bueno. For most secrets, talking to someone is the best way to go and others rarely judge us as much as we think they will.
  • If You Must Keep It A Secret: Asking yourself if anyone is harmed, if the secret protects someone, and knowing why you’re keeping the secret can help you cope.
  • Who To Talk To: Pick someone compassionate and decisive who is not a morally judgmental blabbermouth. If you’re afraid they won’t keep things confidential, you can open up to someone unconnected to the situation.
  • If You Can’t Talk To Anyone: Write about it. Writing can act like therapy. (This may say a lot more about my career choice than I’m comfortable sharing.)
So what should you do with your good secrets?

The opposite: keep them to yourself, at least for now. Uncertainty magnifies emotions -- bad and good. So don’t ruin Aunt Marge’s surprise party by blabbing. You’ll enjoy it more and she’ll enjoy it more if you keep it to yourself.

We think that stopping to smell the roses is a good thing because positive events are rare. But that’s not true. Studies show positive things are more common than negative. The issue is that positive events are more predictable -- so we take them for granted. Negative events are less predictable, so they hit harder.

This makes it a very good idea to keep positive things a surprise. It makes them less predictable for others and gives them the greater impact usually reserved for the bad. Make the great moments as unique as the sad moments usually are and you have a prescription for joy.

We need to hold on to those good secrets just like we need to open up about the negative ones. The times I’ve spent dwelling on my own negative secrets have been some of the most painful and pointless moments of my life. (Which is really saying something.)

There are some good things in store for you. And they will feel all that much better when they happen because you don’t know what they are yet. So stay optimistic. The world keeps secrets from you...

And some of them will turn out to be very, very good.


***If you are one of those lovely people who bought "Plays Well With Others" please leave a review on Amazon here. Thanks!*** 


Email Extras


Findings from around the internet... 

+ Want to know the healthiest way to reduce your social media use? Click here. 

+ Want to know if that midnight snack is a good idea? Click here. 

+ Want to know whether coffee or tea is healthier? Click here. 

+ Miss my prior post? Here you go: This Is The #1 Ritual You Need To Do Every Day. 

+ Want to know how to be more persuasive when discussing politics? Click here. 

+ You read to the end of the email. Your secret is safe with me. (And I thank you.) Okay, Crackerjack time: if you've had enough reading for the day but want to keep learning, I've been on a number of fantastic podcasts lately discussing my new book. You can pump useful info into your earholes by listening to these episodes of The Psychology Podcast, Finding Mastery, and Lewis Howes.

Thanks for reading!
Eric 

PS: If a friend forwarded this to you, you can sign up to get the weekly email yourself here.
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