We Should Be Reforesting, Not Deforesting
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FREEDOM with honesty, justice, and courage.. COMPASSION with dignity, humour, and tolerance.. KNOWLEDGE with effort, perseverance and sharing.. LOVE with peace and harmony towards all LIFE ON EARTH. A science-based international free press humanitarian organization... created in 1972.. human4us2.blogspot.com...
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FREEDOM
FREEDOM IS A GREAT WORD BUT THE REALITY CARRIES A PRICE.
I want to travel in North America and around the world unencumbered by travel expenses. I also do not want to spend my retirement money on Gas for a vehicle that creates Carbon Monoxide pollution everywhere I roll. I need an imaginative solution and the answer is... an ERV!
Wouldn't it be great if I had a battery powered Electric Recreational Vehicle or ERV?!
Would it not be fantastic if Solar Panels covered the ERV and they had the capacity to charge the ERV'S battery and to provide heating and cooling and lighting day and night! A self powered Recreation Vehicle with a bed and bathroom and small kitchenette to carry me around North America almost free of charge. I may have to stop infrequently at recharging stations but my freedom machine would provide almost limitless capacity to travel anywhere I wanted! There is that word again...FREEDOM!!
A freedom machine!
Hey Elon Musk!
What do you think of this idea? I'm sure you could do it but if not how about General Motors? Would they consider the concept? Ok! Hey, Volkswagen! Remember your Hippy Van with the tiny motor? We skinny and unemployed kids had to get out to push-start the motor! I made it to old age but that won't stop me from riding in a new freedom machine?
I suggest governments and large companies consider creating millions of ERV freedom machines to help the millions of homeless poor refugees now arriving from places like Ukraine. ERV'S would provide shelter and provide refugees the opportunity to spread out while locating homes and jobs.
Thanks for reading!
N.J.R.
You know the type. Needlessly cruel and they think they’re better than everyone else. Always one-upping people. If you've been to Timbuktu, they've been to Timbukthree.
Some of them almost reach “Talented Mr. Ripley” proportions and exhibit such bad behavior it makes your eyes go wide like a silent movie actor. Calling them a “friend” requires substantial creativity but – sadly -- they’re a part of your life. (No, you can’t kill them with your mind. It doesn’t work. I’ve tried).
That said, we get a lot wrong about narcissists. And what we don’t know can help a great deal…
In my new book Plays Well With Others I dive deep into the research on narcissism and provide the answers we need on not only how to deal with them – but how to, in some cases, actually help make them better people. That means a lot less grief for you. So below is an excerpt to help get you started.
This is just a taste. There’s much, much more in the book (and awesome bonuses for preordering.) Any retailer and any version of the book qualifies for the bonuses. Grab a copy at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books A Million, Indiebound or Bookshop.
Alrighty, let’s get to it...
Book Excerpt: Narcissists
The data show, on average, for every ten friends you gain, you’ll also get a new enemy. Oh, and the old expression “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” isn’t true. Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler found that the jerks in your life have their own jerks, and you’d find their jerks to be pretty jerky as well. But unless you’re Batman talking about the Joker, an enemy generally isn’t the most problematic person in your life. So who is?
“Frenemies” are often worse than enemies. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychology professor at BYU, found that frenemies (the formal designation is “ambivalent relationships”) increase anxiety and drive your blood pressure through the roof—even more than true enemies do. Why are frenemies more stressful than enemies? It’s the unpredictability. You know what to expect from enemies and supportive friends—but with those ambivalent ones you’re always on edge. And that’s the reason Holt-Lunstad found that the number of frenemies correlated with depression and heart disease over time. But does that really make frenemies worse than enemies? Yeah, because, believe it or not, ambivalent friends make up half our relationships. And studies find that we don’t see them any less often than supportive friends.
Now sometimes frenemies are merely people we don’t “click” with, but other times it’s because they’re narcissists. As physicist Bernard Bailey quipped, “When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.” What the heck is wrong with these people? Narcissism is when you stop trying to soothe your insecurities by relying on people and instead turn to an imaginary self where you are superior.
We all have fantasy lives where we’re rich and awesome and admired. That’s human. And we all have dreams of our enemies being crushed beneath our boots, humiliated in the town square, and tortured mercilessly until… Okay, maybe that’s just me. As Dr. Craig Malkin points out, the distinction is, we enjoy our dreams—but narcissists are addicted to their dreams. Most of us find strength in others; they find it only in themselves. And that lack of empathy is central to the disorder. For narcissists, “getting ahead is more important than getting along.” And as for “a friend in need”? To a narcissist, a friend in need is simply a weak person.
So what’s the best way to deal with a narcissist? The answer is simple: don’t. Say “MEEP-MEEP” and sprint away Road Runner-style as fast as you can. The first-line recommendation of professionals is consistent; we just usually don’t want to do it. But what if “no contact” isn’t an option? Or you really believe this frenemy can be redeemed?
If they have full-blown NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), forget it. I’d sooner tell you to do your own appendectomy than try and change a clinical narcissist. Guess how well therapy works on them? Often a grand total of not at all. They frequently have “negative treatment outcome”—they get worse. It’s well documented that “countertransference” is a big problem in therapy with narcissists. Translation: they even manipulate the professionals who try to treat them. And what you’ll have to do to contend with them will damage you for other relationships.
But if they’re subclinical, there’s a shot. We’re going to use what are called “empathy prompts.” Narcissists have trouble with empathy, but the research shows it’s not because they have zero empathy; it’s more like their empathy muscle is weak. More than a dozen studies show it’s possible to activate that weak muscle in lower-level narcissists and, with time, strengthen it. But it’s important to remember here that what we’re doing is emotional, not cognitive.
Wagging a finger at a narcissist, telling them what they did wrong and what you want is just instructing them how to more effectively manipulate you. The goal is to emotionally scooch yourself into their identity. This involves critical feeling, not critical thinking.
(If you’re enjoying this, preorder the book.)
What’s great is that empathy prompts are both litmus test and treatment. If the narcissist doesn’t respond, they’re probably past the clinical threshold. (The next step involves garlic and a stake through the heart.) But if they are affected, you can help them improve.
So how do we bring out the best in “bad” people? We’ll attack from three angles:
1. Emphasize Similarity
The study “Attenuating the Link Between Threatened Egotism and Aggression” found emphasizing similarity actually has a bigger effect on narcissists than non-narcissists. Why? Because there’s some very clever psychological judo built into this angle. The researchers wrote, “This manipulation would also capitalize on narcissists’ weakness—self-love. Narcissists love themselves, and if someone else is like them, how can they hurt that other person?” And the result? “Narcissistic aggression was completely attenuated, even under ego threat, when participants believed they shared a key similarity with their partner.” And it doesn’t take much either. Merely telling a narcissist that they shared a birthday or the same fingerprint type had an effect. Did you know we’re both O+ blood type? Maybe you want to stop stabbing me in the back now. (No, don’t actually say that.)
2. Emphasize Vulnerability
You have to be careful here because weakness can make a predator pounce. But that’s also what makes this a good litmus test: if they move to exploit, they may be too far gone. If they soften, there’s hope. Two critical points while executing this: voice the importance of the relationship to you and reveal your feelings. Showing anger will backfire, but disappointment is surprisingly effective. Next time the jerk says something jerky respond: “That hurt my feelings. Is that what you intended?” If they can be saved, they’ll backpedal.
3. Emphasize Community
Just like similarity, this method is actually more powerful with narcissists than regular people. Researchers analogized it to alcohol: if you’re not a regular drinker, booze has a bigger effect. And your narcissist isn’t accustomed to empathy, so when it hits, it can hit a lot harder. Remind them about family, friendship, and the connections you have. Their default setting isn’t empathy, so you just need to kick that back into gear. And if you get a positive response with any of these, take a lesson from dog training: positive reinforcement. Reward them for it.
They’re not going to change in one big moment of Freudian realization. This isn’t a Disney film, and giving the Grinch a big hug isn’t going to instantly turn him into a sweetheart. This can be a painstaking, thankless process, but for someone you care about, it can be worth it.
It helps to remember they’re suffering. Rarely seems like it, but they are. Being an addict to your dreams is a curse. Narcissism is “highly comorbid with other disorders,” which is a fancy way of saying these people have more issues than Vogue. They suffer from higher rates of depression, anxiety, chronic envy, perfectionism, relationship difficulties, and last, but certainly not least, suicide. When people suffer from depression, anxiety, or borderline personality disorder, we tend to feel sympathy, but with narcissism we often say they’re just “bad.” That’s like feeling sorry for people with tuberculosis but saying those with meningitis are a bunch of jerks. Narcissism shows a heritability of 45–80 percent, with at least two studies pointing to genetic underpinnings. No, your frenemy is not nice. But it’s important to remember it may not be their fault.
But what do you do if they are clinical-level and you can’t MEEP-MEEP? The final option is the two Bs: boundaries and bargaining. Basically, you need to aim for the opposite of a deep friendship -- a totally transactional relationship. First, establish boundaries. What will you no longer tolerate? And what will you do if they violate those boundaries? Be firm and consistent but not mean. Next is bargaining. It’s Let’s Make a Dealtime. (Ignore that smell of brimstone.) Focus on win-win. Narcissists will often play ball if you have something they want. Make sure they pay in advance and always price above market. Judge actions, not intentions. A final good move that clinical psychologist Albert Bernstein recommends when they’re angling for something dishonest is to ask, “What will people think?” They may not feel guilt, but they do feel shame, and narcissists are very concerned about appearances...
Okay, that’s enough excerpting for now. (I’d love to give you more but I’d also love to not have my publisher sue me.)
Rest assured there is much more in the book. We’re not just going to cover narcissists and people who have more red flags than a matador – we’ll also learn how to create love, revitalize love, kill loneliness and build community.
And there are awesome bonuses for preordering. Grab a copy here.
Attention Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin:
I understand you are a very lonely and sick human being, but are you a stupid human being? Can you answer these simple questions?
What will happen after you have completely obliterated every building in the Ukraine? What are your plans for the future? Are you going to rebuild the Ukraine and put Russians in the buildings or are you going to try and destroy and conquer the countries around the Ukraine? It will take billions of Roubles and Euros and many years to completely rebuild the Ukraine. Meanwhile, Russia will suffer under international sanctions and you will have zero Roubles to spend.
International sanctions will eat at the fabric of your social and industrial systems.
I postulate that you will have to bring your Tanks home or leave them in place. Your supply lines will be very long and in constant danger. Your country is currently cut-off from the world and nobody wants to deal with Russia. If captured you will be brought to a hospital for the mentally insane and then, if found competent, brought to The Hague where you will face a court of international judges. It will be at that point that your family and all of Russia will understand how you pushed them into a war nobody wanted and how it was you along with your rich friends, your generals and your Tank commanders who acted like Nazis.
You may avoid the disgrace if you are murdered by someone within your own ranks. I believe you are a sociopath and not a psychopath which explains why you have taken the trouble to protect yourself with a home guard. Fear is the one emotion you do not allow yourself to have but the truth is you have lived with an underlying fear for decades and you continue to live with fear on a daily basis. That is truly sad!
I have a solution. Stop the war immediately and then begin negotiations. It may help you survive the future but if you feel that is not possible...I also suggest you stop the war and then change your face and your identity. Don't wait for spring, do it now! That may be the only chance you have to prolong your life and of ever seeing your family again!
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Madman theory
Mr Putin himself tells the story of chasing a rat when he was a boy. When he had driven it into a corner, the rat reacted by attacking him, forcing a young Vladimir to become the one who fled. The question Western policymakers are asking is what if Mr Putin feels cornered now?
"The question really is whether or not he doubles down with greater brutality and escalates in terms of the weapon systems that he's prepared to use," said one western official. There have been concerns he could use chemical weapons or even a tactical nuclear weapon.
"The worry is that he does something unbelievably rash in a vicious press-the button way," says Adrian Furnham.
Mr Putin himself may play up the sense that he is dangerous or even irrational - this is a well-known tactic (often called the "madman" theory) in which someone with access to nuclear weapons tries to get his adversary to back down by convincing them that he may well be crazy enough to use them despite the potential for everyone to perish.
For Western spies and policymakers understanding Mr Putin's intentions and mindset today could not be more important. Predicting his response is pivotal in working out how far they can push him without triggering a dangerous reaction.
"Putin's self concept does not allow for failure or weakness. He despises such things" says Ken Dekleva. "A cornered, weakened Putin is a more dangerous Putin. It's sometimes better to let the bear run out of the cage and back to the forest."
ATTENTION PEOPLE OF RUSSIA!
THERE ARE NO NAZIS IN THE UKRAINE AND THERE NEVER WERE NAZIS IN THE UKRAINE.
YOUR PRESIDENT LIED TO YOU AND CONTINUES TO LIE TO YOU!
VLADIMIR PUTIN IS A VERY SICK MAN! HE IS A MAN LIVING WITHOUT EMOTIONS.
A K.G.B. PSYCHOPATH WHO HAS ORDERED HIS TANKS TO ATTACK AN UNARMED POPULATION BY CONVINCING THOUSANDS OF YOUNG RUSSIAN SOLDIERS AND MILLIONS OF RUSSIAN CITIZENS THAT THE UKRAINE IS FILLED WITH NAZIS. THE PEOPLE WHO ARE FIGHTING RUSSIAN TANKS TODAY, ARE NOT NAZIS! THEY ARE UKRAINIAN FREEDOM FIGHTERS ATTEMPTING TO STOP THE TANKS FROM BOMBARDING AND DESTROYING THEIR CITIES.
MANY UKRAINIANS AND ALMOST EVERY COUNTRY ON EARTH TODAY IS FEELING A NEED FOR REVENGE AGAINST RUSSIA FOR DESTROYING WORLD PEACE AND FOR KILLING THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT MEN AND WOMEN AND CHILDREN.
THAT REVENGE IS ONLY IN THE FORM OF ECONOMIC SANCTIONS.
UNFORTUNATELY YOUR SICK PRESIDENT PUTIN IS IMMUNE TO ANY INFLUENCES THAT DOES NOT GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS. IT WILL BE UP TO YOU, THE PEOPLE OF RUSSIA, TO STOP VLADIMIR PUTIN. PUTIN IS ON A RAMPAGE TO RECREATE THE OLD SOVIET REPUBLIC AT ALL COSTS AND WITHOUT EMOTIONS, HE DOES NOT FEEL FEAR. HE PUT HIS NUCLEAR ARSENAL ON ALERT AND MAY YET CAUSE A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST!
A GREAT MANY WORLD LEADERS ARE CERTAIN THAT PUTIN WILL NOT STOP AFTER HE HAS OCCUPIED THE UKRAINE BECAUSE HE IS CERTIFIABLY AND WITHOUT A DOUBT, INSANE!!
N.J.R.
P.S. It will not bring back the dead but it is a small form of justice. All Russian assets now frozen will be redirected towards rebuilding the cities and towns of the Ukraine.
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