Thursday, December 27, 2018

A POEM FOR KIND BILLIONAIRES.

I write this poem for Billionaires

Who have never sent me a dime.

Thank you....thank you...thank you!.

I don't believe your slime!

Even though you see babies dying

And people in desperate need!

I'm sure you try your best

to stop the corporate greed!

And with your mansions nice and neat

Hidden everywhere!

I'm sure you help the homeless revive

When you see them dying on the street...

So thank you...thank you...thank you!

You have taught me how to survive!

With your kindness and your compassion,

I will try to remain alive!

Friday, December 21, 2018

Meet perovskite. The mystery mineral.

SCIENCE

Meet perovskite, the mystery mineral that could transform our solar energy future

Dec 20, 2018 / Karen Frances Eng

iStock

Someday, solar panels may be light and cheap enough that they could be hung on a clothesline, thanks to a synthetic mineral called perovskite. Physicist Sam Stranks explains the solar-powered science and the challenges that stand in its way.

Solar power is key to our energy future. But the solar industry is butting up against one hard problem: Silicon cells are not very efficient at converting sunlight into electricity — at best, about 29 percent efficient. You may wonder, Why does efficiency even matter, when sunlight is free? The answer: because low efficiency means you need to install a whole lot of solar panels — which can be large, heavy and expensive to manufacture — to generate enough energy to make a dent in your needs.

But that could change thanks to a mineral called perovskite, according to Cambridge University physicist (and TED Fellow) Sam Stranks. He and his colleagues at Swift Solar are working to develop perovskite-based solar panels that could break the energy-efficiency upper limit.

What in the world is perovskite? The term “perovskite” refers to two substances: a calcium titanium oxide mineral composed of calcium titanate, and also the class of compounds that share the mineral’s unique crystal structure. The perovskites that hold such promising photovoltaic (PV), or solar energy-generating, properties are a group of human-made versions discovered in 2009 by Japanese scientist Tsutomu Miyasaka and colleagues. (Miyasaka was talked about in 2018 as a potential Nobel Prize recipient.) “These perovskites can absorb sunlight better than silicon,” says Stranks. “We can absorb almost all of the sunlight with a perovskite film that is at least a hundred times thinner than silicon.”

Scientists synthesize perovskites by mixing two inexpensive salts, lead halides and organic halides. This solution forms an ink, which can be applied in an ultrafine, uniform layer by using inkjet printing or spin coating. “The film deposited is very thin — around 500 nanometers or about 1/100th the thickness of a human hair — and it is enough to absorb a large fraction of the sunlight needed to generate electricity,” says Stranks.

The upshot: A little perovskite can generate a lot of power. “The state of California requires 50 gigawatts of power, for example,” says Stranks, “and to make enough solar panels, you’d only need half an Olympic swimming pool’s worth of perovskite ink.”

Another plus: A perovskite cell factory could be a lot less expensive than a silicon factory. While a silicon factory costs roughly $300 million to $400 million to build, a perovskite factory could cost less than $100 million. “The difference in expense is partly because making highly crystalline silicon requires heating it to a very high temperature to get rid of defects,” says Stranks. “Perovskite films, on the other hand, only need gentle heating to be defect-free, and they can be rolled out rapidly on big printers, which is more cost-effective.”

While perovskite probably won’t replace silicon cells right away (to learn why, read on), the two compounds can work together. “It’s not an either/or proposition with silicon, but both/and,” says Stranks. Perovskite cells can be layered over existing silicon solar cells — in a “tandem” cell — to raise their efficiency. Boosting silicon with perovskite could make each PV panel 20 percent more efficient than today’s PV panels, contends Stranks. The increase in efficiency has effects that could ripple out through the solar-energy process. He explains, “If you’re installing a house that would’ve previously needed five panels, you now only need four. That changes things a lot: the panels for a solar farm would suddenly be 20 percent less expensive, as well as other cost savings, and so on.”

Here’s how a tandem cell works. The job of a solar cell is to harvest the various wavelengths of light — which are perceived as different colors — in the visible spectrum and convert them into energy. “When you layer a perovskite cell on top of a silicon cell, the perovskite layer harvests the bluer light, which is the highest-energy visible light, and converts it into voltage,” says Stranks. “The rest of the light then travels through to the silicon cell below, which absorbs the redder, lower-energy rays and converts those into power. The idea is that, with both layers, you’re harvesting almost the entire spectrum of light, but you’re doing it sequentially to maximize the amount of power produced.”

Why not get rid of silicon altogether and just use perovskite? That’s the goal, says Stranks. Perovskite-perovskite tandem cells — a concept first demonstrated by his cofounders Giles Eperon and Tomas Leijtens — are a technology being developed by the team at Swift Solar. Two different types of perovskite cells are placed on top of each other, and just as tandem perovskite-silicon cells harvest different frequencies of light, so do tandem perovskite-perovskite cells. These could potentially push the efficiency up to 35 percent or higher.

Why silicon still matters: We don’t know how long a perovskite cell lasts. “Silicon cells last 25 years, while perovskite cells have yet to be sufficiently proven under such environmental stressors as moisture and heat,” says Stranks. (Remember, the material was only discovered in 2009.) Why this matters: If you’re installing an expensive solar array on your house, you want it to last for a while. Stranks is optimistic that perovskite cells can be made durable, perhaps by optimizing the compositions and the cell designs. Meanwhile, tandem perovskite cells can start to be used in devices like drones that don’t require long-term durability.

Perovskites could bring power to new customers in new forms. Stranks envisions perovskite cells providing power someday in rural areas in developing countries. While silicon panels are already being installed and used in all kinds of settings, they can be heavy and bulky. “My idea would be to roll off these cheap solar sheets, fill a truck with them to be used in remote communities. The sheets could be hung on a clothesline, installed on the roof of a shelter, and so on,” he explains. “A typical sheet, deployed with a storage battery, could power a mobile phone charger, lamps or a small refrigerator.” According to Stranks’s best guess, it may take up to a decade before perovskites reaches consumers’ lives. “We’ve still got work to do, and it will take a global push to realize the full potential of perovskites,” he says. “But given the price of cheap, clean energy, the future is bright.”

Watch his TED talk here:

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Gentle People:

I was revolted by a picture I saw on Facebook. A father holding a baby and both were
horribly scarred by a machete. The baby had a terrible scar on its face which broke my
heart and all I could think of was what cold blooded human maniacs could perpetrate
such atrocities? I understand how this is a Holiday season in Europe and North America
but to allow this sort of cruelty to exist in Africa and precisely in the Democratic Republic of the
Congo, or D.R.C., is a crime against humanity and degrades all of us as human beings!

I ask the United Nations to create an armed peace force and to send it to the D.R.C. to help
put an end to this ongoing atrocity.
I ask all peace loving governments on this planet not to turn their backs on innocent men
and women and children who are victims of cold blooded killers.
Thanks for reading.
Nelson Joseph Raglione.

Where courage lives in space.

Expedition 57

NASA Astronaut, Crewmates Return to Earth After 197-Day Mission in Space

Expedition 57 crew members Sergey Prokopyev of the Russian space agency Roscosmos, Serena Auñón-Chancellor of NASA, and Alexander Gerst of ESA (European Space Agency) emerge one at a time from the Soyuz MS-09 that carried them home from the International Space Station Dec. 20, 2018, after a 197-day mission. The spacecraft touched down in Kazakhstan at 12:02 a.m. EST, marking the end of a voyage that took them around the globe 3,152 times, covering 83.3 million miles.

Credits: NASA Television

Three members of the International Space Station’s Expedition 57 crew, including NASA astronaut Serena Auñón-Chancellor, returned to Earth Thursday, safely landing at 12:02 a.m. EST (11:02 a.m. local time) in Kazakhstan.

Auñón-Chancellor and her crewmates, Expedition 57 Commander Alexander Gerst of ESA (European Space Agency) and Soyuz Commander Sergey Prokopyev, launched June 6 and arrived at the space station two days later to begin their mission. Over 197 days, they circled the globe 3,152 times, covering 83.3 million miles.

For the last 16 days of her mission, Auñón-Chancellor was joined by fellow NASA astronaut Anne McClain, marking the first time in which the only two U.S. astronauts on a mission both were women.

Serena Auñón-Chancellor of NASA after landing on Dec. 20, 2018.

Serena Auñón-Chancellor of NASA rests in a chair after she, Alexander Gerst of the European Space Agency, and Sergey Prokopyev of Roscosmo, landed in their Soyuz MS-09 capsule in a remote area near the town of Zhezkazgan, Kazakhstan on Dec. 20, 2018. Auñón-Chancellor, Gerst, and Prokopyev are returning after 197 days in space where they served as members of the Expedition 56 and 57 crews onboard the International Space Station.

Credits: NASA/Bill Ingalls

The Expedition 57 crew contributed to hundreds of experiments in biology, biotechnology, physical science and Earth science aboard the world-class orbiting laboratory. Highlights included investigations into new cancer treatment methods and algae growth in space. The crew also installed a new Life Sciences Glovebox, a sealed work area for life science and technology investigations that can accommodate two astronauts.

This was the first flight for Auñón-Chancellor and Prokopyev and the second for Gerst, who – with a total of 362 days in orbit – now holds the flight duration record among ESA astronauts.

Prokopyev completed two spacewalks totaling 15 hours and 31 minutes. During a 7 hour, 45 minute spacewalk Dec. 11, he and Oleg Kononenko of Roscosmos retrieved patch samples and took digital images of a repair made to the habitation module of the Soyuz MS-09 in which the Expedition 57 trio rode home. The space station crew located and, within hours of its detection, repaired a small hole inside the Soyuz in August. The spacecraft was thoroughly checked and deemed safe for return to Earth.

When the Soyuz undocked at 8:40 p.m. Dec. 19, Expedition 58 began aboard the station, with McClain, David Saint-Jacques of the Canadian Space Agency, and Kononenko comprising a three-person crew. The next residents on the space station – Nick Hague and Christina Koch of NASA and Alexey Ovchinin of Roscosmos – will launch Feb. 28 from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan to join their crewmates, marking the start of Expedition 59.

For more than 18 years, humans have lived and worked continuously aboard the station, advancing scientific knowledge and demonstrating new technologies, making research breakthroughs not possible on Earth that will enable long-duration human and robotic exploration into deep space. A global endeavor, more than 230 people from 18 countries have visited the unique microgravity laboratory that has hosted more than 2,400 research investigations from researchers in more than 103 countries.

Keep up with the International Space Station, its research and crews at:

https://www.nasa.gov/station

Get breaking news, images and features from the station on Instagram and Twitter at:

https://instagram.com/iss

and

https://www.twitter.com/Space_Station

-end-

Stephanie Schierholz
Headquarters, Washington
202-358-1100
stephanie.schierholz@nasa.gov

Gary Jordan
Johnson Space Center, Houston
281-483-5111
gary.j.jordan@nasa.gov

Last Updated: Dec. 20, 2018

Editor: Karen Northon

Tags: Expedition 57, Humans in Space, International Space Station (ISS), Johnson Space Center

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Pride, courage and love. Shared by Corina Marinescu.

The Last Letter of a Kamikaze Pilot

My Thoughts,

I am keenly aware of the tremendous personal honor involved in my having been chosen to be a member of the Army Special Attack Corps, which is considered to be the most elite attack force in the service of our glorious fatherland.

　　My thoughts about all these things derive from a logical standpoint which is more or less the fruit of my long career as a student and, perhaps, what some others might call a liberal. But I believe that the ultimate triumph of liberty is altogether obvious. As the Italian philosopher Benedetto Croce has proclaimed, “liberty is so quintessential to human nature that it is absolutely impossible to destroy it. “I believe along with him that this is a simple fact, a fact so certain that liberty must of necessity continue its underground life even when it appears, on the surface, to be suppressed—it will always win through in the end.

　　It is equally inevitable that an authoritarian and totalitarian nation, however much it may flourish temporarily, will eventually be defeated. In the present war we can see how this latter truth is borne out in the Axis Powers themselves. What more needs to be said about Fascist Italy? Nazi Germany too has already been defeated, and we see that all the authoritarian nations are now falling down one by one, exactly like buildings with faulty foundations. All these developments only serve to reveal all over again the universality of the truth that history has so often proven in the past: men’s great love of liberty will live on into the future and into eternity itself.

Although there are aspects to all this which constitute something the fatherland has reason to feel apprehensive about, it is still a truly wonderful thing to feel that one’s own personal beliefs have been validated. On every front, I believe that ideologies are at the bottom of all the fighting that is going on nowadays. Still further, I am firmly convinced that the outcome of each and every conflict is predictable on the bases of the ideologies held by the opposing sides.

　　My ambitious hope was to have lived to see my beloved fatherland—Japan—develop into a great empire like Great Britain in the past, but that hope has already been dashed. If those people who truly loved their country had been given a fair hearing, I do not believe that Japan would be in its present perilous position. This was my ideal and what I dreamt about: that the people of Japan might walk proudly anywhere in the world.

　　In a real sense it is certainly true that a pilot in our special aerial attack force is, as a friend of mine has said, nothing more than a piece of the machine. He is nothing more than that part of the machine which holds the plane’s controls—endowed with no personal qualities, no emotions, certainly with no rationality—simply just an iron filament tucked inside a magnet itself designed to be sucked into an enemy air-craft carrier. The whole business would, within any context of rational behavior, appear to be unthinkable, and would seem to have no appeal whatsoever except to someone with a suicidal disposition. I suppose this entire range of phenomena is best seen as something peculiar to Japan, a nation of spirituality. So then we who are nothing more than pieces of machinery may have no right to say anything, but we only wish, ask, and hope for one thing: that all the Japanese people might combine to make our beloved country the greatest nation possible.

　　Were I to face the battles that lie ahead in this sort of emotional state, my death would be rendered meaningless. This is the reason then, as I have already stated, that I intend to concentrate on the honor involved in being designated a member of the Special Attack Corps.

When I am in a plane perhaps I am nothing more than just a piece of the machine, but as soon as I am on the ground again I find that I am a complete human being after all, complete with human emotions—and passions too. when the sweetheart whom I loved so much passed away, I experienced a kind of spiritual death myself. Death in itself is nothing when you look upon it, as I do, as merely a pass to the heaven where I will see her once again, the one who is waiting there for me.

　　Tomorrow we attack. It may be that my genuine feelings are extreme—and extremely private! But I have put them down as honestly as I can. Please forgive me for writing so loosely and without much logical order. Tomorrow one believer in liberty and liberalism will leave this world behind. His withdrawing figure may have a lonely look about it, but I assure you that his heart is filled with contentment.
　　I have said everything I wanted to say in the way I wanted to say it. Please accept my apologies for any breach of etiquette. Well,then.

—Captain Ryoji Uehara

Uehara was killed during an attack on the US Fleet at the Battle of Okinawa, May 11th, 1945. He was 22 years old. Among his personal effects was a book on philosophy by Benedetto Croce, in the cover of which he had written,

“Goodbye, my beloved Kyoko-chan. I loved you so much;but even then you were already engaged, so it was very painful for me.Thinking only of your happiness,I suppressed the urge to whisper into your ear. That I loved you. I love you still.”

Source:
http://www.geocities.jp/kamikazes_site_e/isyo/isyobun/ueharasyokan.html

The first men on the Moon.

Originally shared by France Michaud Knapp - 5 comments

Apollo 11 was the spaceflight that landed the first two people on the Moon. Commander Neil Armstrong and Lunar Module Pilot Buzz Aldrin, both American, landed the lunar module Eagle on July 20, 1969, at 20:17 UTC. Armstrong became the first person to step onto the lunar surface six hours after landing on July 21 at 02:56:15 UTC; Aldrin joined him about 20 minutes later. They spent about two and a quarter hours together outside the spacecraft, and collected 47.5 pounds (21.5 kg) of lunar material to bring back to Earth. Command Module Pilot Michael Collins piloted the command module Columbia alone in lunar orbit while they were on the Moon's surface. Armstrong and Aldrin spent 21.5 hours on the lunar surface before rejoining Columbia in lunar orbit.
Apollo 11 was launched by a Saturn V rocket from Kennedy Space Center on Merritt Island, Florida, on July 16 at 13:32 UTC, and was the fifth crewed mission of NASA's Apollo program. The Apollo spacecraft had three parts: a command module (CM) with a cabin for the three astronauts, and the only part that returned to Earth; a service module (SM), which supported the command module with propulsion, electrical power, oxygen, and water; and a lunar module (LM) that had two stages – a descent stage for landing on the Moon, and an ascent stage to place the astronauts back into lunar orbit.
After being sent to the Moon by the Saturn V's third stage, the astronauts separated the spacecraft from it and traveled for three days until they entered lunar orbit. Armstrong and Aldrin then moved into Eagle and landed in the Sea of Tranquillity. The astronauts used Eagle's ascent stage to lift off from the lunar surface and rejoin Collins in the command module. They jettisoned Eagle before they performed the maneuvers that blasted them out of lunar orbit on a trajectory back to Earth. They returned to Earth and splashed down in the Pacific Ocean on July 24 after more than eight days in space.
Armstrong's first step onto the lunar surface was broadcast on live TV to a worldwide audience. He described the event as "one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind." Apollo 11 effectively ended the Space Race and fulfilled a national goal proposed in 1961 by President John F. Kennedy: "before this decade is out, of landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely to the Earth."
mewe.com/i/francemichaud_knapp

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Groucho Marx at his funniest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VckmK-ZCpAU

Grouch Marx at his best! Gut wrenching funny! There is only one problem and that is you need to be at least Seventy Plus to understand all the subtle jokes and sexual innuendos.

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Watch out for flying Monkeys!

Welcome to the Barking Up The Wrong Tree weekly update for December 16th, 2018.

How To Avoid Toxic People: 5 Simple Secrets That Will Make You Happier

***

Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller! To check it out, click here.

***

Click here to read the post on the blog or keep scrolling to read in-email.

We all know a few people that treat causing grief like it's a career. It's as if your life is a video game and they were put here just to make finishing this level harder.

These aren't simple jerks or someone having a bad day; these are folks with deep-seated problems. Serious interpersonal dysfunction. Lack of social awareness. And, perhaps most notably, an inability to change.

The DSM-5 says that roughly 15% of people meet the criteria for a personality disorder. And most of them are never diagnosed. Now you're not a psychiatrist and neither am I, so we shouldn't run around diagnosing people...

But we can learn enough to recognize if someone is a "high-conflict person", reasonably give a diagnosis of "no good for moi" and steer clear of them.

So what are the three most pernicious flavors of high-conflict people?

Narcissistic HCPs:

They often seem very charming at first but believe they are hugely superior to others. They insult, humiliate, mislead, and lack empathy for their Targets of Blame. They also demand constant undeserved respect and attention from everyone… According to a 2008 report of a National Institutes of Health study, more than 6 percent of the general population has the disorder. That’s more than twenty-two million people in North America.

Borderline HCPs:

They often start out extremely friendly—but they can suddenly and unpredictably shift into being extremely angry. When this shift occurs, they may seek revenge for minor or nonexistent slights… The speed with which they turn from seeming to love you to hating you is breathtaking… A 2008 report of a National Institutes of Health study indicates that nearly 6 percent of the general population has BPD.

Antisocial (or Sociopathic/Psychopathic) HCPs:

They can be extremely charismatic—but their charm is a cover for their drive to dominate others through lying, stealing, publicly humiliating people, physically injuring them, and—in extreme cases—murdering them… The large NIH study...determined that 3.6 percent of the population has this disorder. That’s about thirteen million people in North America.

I do want to emphasize that these are disorders. These people are suffering. They're not necessarily bad people. I don't want to contribute to mental health stigma -- but you need to protect yourself.

Any responsible mental health professional would advise you to keep your distance from people with these problems, if at all possible. Their disorders aren't going away without serious help, and until they get it, they have the potential to seriously screw your life up.

So how do we learn how to identify and avoid them? Let's get tips from an expert...

Bill Eddy is a licensed clinical social worker that has provided therapy to patients in psychiatric hospitals for more than a decade. He has taught negotiation and mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law and serves as adjunct faculty at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University.

His book is 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities.

We’re gonna cover the three that are likely to cause the biggest problems for you.

Let’s get to it...

The 4 Behavior Patterns Of High Conflict People

Everybody has bad days. Or bad weeks. So how can you tell if someone is coping with some temporary issues or if they are truly an oh-my-god-watch-out-high-conflict-person?

Look for these four patterns of behavior:

1) Lots of all-or-nothing thinking

HCPs tend to see conflicts in terms of one simple solution (i.e., everyone doing exactly what the HCP wants). They don’t—and perhaps can’t—analyze the situation, hear different points of view, and consider several possible solutions. Compromise and flexibility seem impossible for them.

2) Intense or unmanaged emotions

HCPs tend to become very emotional about their points of view. They often catch everyone else by surprise with their sudden and intense fear, sadness, yelling, or disrespect. Their responses can be way out of proportion to whatever is happening or being discussed, and they often seem unable to control their own emotions.

3) Extreme behavior or threats

HCPs frequently engage in extreme negative behavior. This might include shoving or hitting someone; spreading rumors and outright lies about them; trying to have obsessive contact with them… There are also some HCPs who use emotional manipulation to hurt others but can appear very emotionally in control while they do it… They often seem clueless about how their behavior has a devastating and exhausting emotional impact on others.

4) A preoccupation with blaming others

The single most common—and most obvious—HCP trait is how frequently and intensely they blame other people, especially people close to them and people who seem to be in positions of authority over them.

If somebody does one of these four, hey, nobody's perfect. But if someone routinely exhibits all 4? Almost certainly an HCP.

It's always a good idea to take some time getting to know people. Especially before trusting, hiring, or marrying them. Learn about their personal history, preferably from sources other than merely them.

Yes, some people have had a run of bad luck and their past is marked by problems and bad relationships. But nobody has consistent bad luck for decades. This is probably not someone who has tragically gone from problem situation to problem situation; this is probably Patient Zero.

And if you seriously suspect someone is an HCP, under no circumstances should you accuse them of being a narcissist, borderline or antisocial. You might as well write “please ruin my life” on your forehead.

(To learn more about how you and your children can lead a successful life, check out my bestselling book here.)

So you have suspicions about someone. Specifically, what should you look for? Scrutinize their words, emotions and behavior. Let's start with words...

Words To Look For

Each type gives clues if you listen closely:

Narcissistic HCPs: Anything that indicates arrogance, entitlement, and a lack of empathy. They see the world as made up of winners and losers.
Borderline HCPs: Victim narratives will be front and center. You'll feel bad for them because it seems like their life keeps burning down (but they'll neglect to mention they're an arsonist).
Antisocial HCPs: They will probably attempt to break the record for most lies told in a single conversation.

But all three will eventually display blaming of others, all-or-nothing thinking, victim stories, and a desire to punish.

From 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life:

Watch out for words that grab your attention, especially a pattern of all-or-nothing language. “You always . . .” “You never . . .” “It’s my way or the highway!” “It’s ALL your fault!” Keep in mind that we all say these things occasionally. It’s the pattern and intensity of frequently speaking and writing this way that should grab your attention.

(To learn how to deal with passive-aggressive people, click here.)

So you know what words to look for. But even more telling are emotions...

Emotions To Look For

Extreme ones. Extreme charm, extreme love, and extreme anger are all signs of possible trouble.

Or someone who is tightly controlled with their emotions until -- BOOM. They lose it. And suddenly they're so unrecognizable that you skip telling them to calm down and consider calling an exorcist.

The other emotions to stay aware of are your own. How are they making you feel? Many people end up in toxic romantic relationships with narcissists or borderlines and wonder how it happened. Those powerful feelings they experienced weren't love -- they were emotional manipulation.

Anytime you feel extreme emotions with someone you barely know, it pays to slow things down and be a bit circumspect. So what are you most likely to feel with each type?

With Narcissistic HCPs:

Do you feel stupid or otherwise inadequate around the person? Do you feel in awe of the person and amazed that he or she is spending time with you? ...Does it feel like this person has lost interest in you or now insults you in front of others?

When astronomers finally discover the center of the universe, narcissists will be shocked they are not it.

With Borderline HCPs:

Do you feel extremely frustrated with the person, like you want to shake them or yell at them to get them to stop behaving in some inappropriate way? ...Are you amazed that your emotions swing back and forth so extremely with this person?

If you wonder how the fully grown adult in front of you has suddenly become the most emotionally overwrought manipulative adolescent imaginable, seeming to cycle through completely different personalities faster than you can change channels on your TV, that's a borderline.

With Antisocial HCPs:

Do you sometimes feel a sense of danger just being around this person? Do you sometimes get a cold, creepy feeling when this person is around? Do other people tell you that this person can’t be trusted and is a con artist?

If you've wondered, "Is there anything this person wouldn't say to get what they want?" Helloooooo, antisocial.

(To learn the 4 harsh truths that will make you a better person, click here.)

Emotions are good signs. But nothing beats behavior...

Behavior To Look For

This can seem tricky because there's no exhaustive list. But there is a simple method you can use that's quite effective: the "90% rule."

From 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life:

When you see something extremely negative, ask yourself: Would 90 percent of people ever do this? If the answer is no, you are almost always watching a high-conflict personality in action.

Yes, they're going to make excuses. Wasn't my fault, I had a rough day, the dog ate my homework and it was the aliens that built the pyramids. It'll always be something.

But the most dangerous excuses are the ones you might find yourselfmaking to explain such bad behavior. This means you're already under their spell...

So relay the story to an objective third party and ask their honest opinion to make sure you're not in denial about what kind of person you've been dealing with.

(To learn how to make your life awesome, click here.)

Okay, at this point you know they are officially a 100% USDA-approved high-conflict person. (Um... congratulations?) So what do you do now?

No further contact. Period.

But, sadly, that is not always an option. So here's a simple 4-step method for handling that next encounter...

Use "CARS"

No, Lightning McQueen, we're not talking about the Pixar movie. It's an acronym:

Connect with empathy, attention, and respect
Analyze alternatives or options
Respond to misinformation or hostility
Set limits on high-conflict behavior

First, make sure you're calm. You don't want to be reactive and you don't want to show any negativity. (And that can prove verychallenging with these people.)

Ready? Alright, let's walk through the 4 steps...

1) CONNECT WITH ATTENTION, EMPATHY, AND RESPECT

With narcissists and antisocials, emphasize respect. With borderlines, focus on empathy.

From 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life:

“I can see this is a frustrating situation. [Empathy] Tell me more—I want to understand what’s happening from your point of view. [Attention] I have a lot of respect for your efforts to resolve this problem. [Respect]”

Always communicate in a way that you would like them to mirror.

2) ANALYZE ALTERNATIVES OR OPTIONS

Always deal with the problem at hand by presenting them with choices. It gives them the illusion of autonomy and control, which will reduce further conflict.

From 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life:

Talk about options or choices that the person has. You can turn anything into a choice, which makes the person feel more empowered and more respected. For example: Suppose a narcissistic HCP has just dropped in or called you, demanding attention. You could respond: “I can help you right now, but only for about five minutes. Next week, if we schedule it, I can spend about an hour with you on this. It’s up to you.” This approach helps you turn their demand into a choice, so that you can limit their disruption of your time while they still feel respected and considered.

3) RESPOND TO MISINFORMATION OR HOSTILITY

Use a "BIFF response" -- brief, informative, friendly and firm.

From 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life:

This is what I call a BIFF response: It’s brief (just a sentence or paragraph), informative (just straight information, not defensiveness), friendly (keeps the tone nonadversarial), and firm (meaning it ends the potentially hostile discussion).

4) SET LIMITS ON HIGH-CONFLICT BEHAVIOR

If your boundaries seem arbitrary they will almost certainly try and steamroll you. Narcissists will demand, borderlines will cry, and antisocials will turn on the charm.

So make sure your limits come from an external source outside your control: "I'd love to give you what you want but my boss/spouse/dominatrix just won't let me."

From 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life:

That’s why you can’t just say no; you have to back it up with firm boundaries and clear consequences for violating them. You may need to set limits on the topics you will discuss, the amount of time you will spend together, the tasks you will do or not do for them, and so forth. In practice, we do this with everyone we meet, but people who are not high-conflict types intuitively understand our limits and normally don’t violate them… Make it clear that the limit isn’t about them; explain how your schedule, your boss, or other external circumstances require you to set this limit, and hold it firmly in place.

And make sure to never trigger the deepest fear of an HCP while dealing with them:

Narcissistic HCPs fear disrespect. Of course, they act like jerks and people inevitably lose respect for them.
Borderline HCPs fear abandonment. Of course, they are a nonstop emotional rollercoaster that makes everyone run away from them as soon as humanly possible.
Antisocial HCPs fear control. So they break every rule and often end up in prison, utterly controlled.

(To learn the 4-step morning ritual that will make you happy all day, click here.)

Okay, we've covered a lot. Let's round it all up and talk about the dangers of flying monkeys. Yes, I said "flying monkeys"...

Sum Up

This is how to avoid toxic people:

Behavior patterns to look for: Blaming, all-or-nothing thinking, playing the victim and unmanaged emotions.
Words to look for: "I blame you for not paying more attention to what I wrote above. You never, ever read what I write, do you? I feel so victimized by you skimming this page. And one day I'll get back at you. Just you wait..."
Emotions to look for: Your own. If you're having extreme ones -- even if they're positive -- be wary.
Behavior to look for: 90% of people would not kick an old lady down a flight of stairs. (Even if she did have it coming.)
Use "CARS": Connect, Analyze Options, Respond with BIFF, Set Limits.

So what's a flying monkey? If you're thinking "Wizard of Oz", you get the reference. They're the ones that did the Wicked Witch's dirty work.

Flying monkeys are people under the spell of the HCP. They fell for one of the victim stories -- and in this narrative you're the bad guy. HCP's love a good smear campaign.

So the flying monkey thinks they're being a good friend, coming to the aid of their beleaguered pal, and attacking you -- that horrible, horrible person. This can lead to rumors spread around the office or social circles that make you look bad and probably aren't easily traceable back to their source, the HCP.

The flying monkey is probably a decent person just trying to "do the right thing" for their "friend." And if you unload on them, you'll look like the monster you've been portrayed as. If you say mean things about the HCP, you'll just prove your guilt. So what do you do when confronted by a flying monkey?

First off, be nice. Second, the only way to break the spell and clear your name is to provide verifiable, accurate information about the evildoings of the HCP. It's no guarantee, but if you keep your cool and only say things that will check out, you may be able to free them from the Wicked Witch's mind control -- and get yourself an ally.

One final, very important point: don't let all this make you paranoid.

Most people are good. But if someone gets your Spidey-Sense tingling, pay attention to their words, notice your emotions, try the 90% rule, use CARS -- and be nice to flying monkeys.

In the end, the only way to truly win with toxic people is not to play.

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Email Extras

Findings from around the internet...

+ Want to know how to find your calling in life? Click here.

+ Want to know a simple but powerful learning technique? Click here.

+ Want to know if breakfast really is the most important meal of the day? Click here.

+ Miss last week's post? Here you go: New Neuroscience Reveals 9 Rituals That Will Make You An Amazing Parent. And the cheat sheet PDF I promised in last week's email is here.

+ Want to know the best type of exercise to improve your mood? Click here.

+ You made it to the end of the email. That was wonderfully low-conflict of you. Thanks for making this more pleasant than most of my relationships. You're such a wonderful listener. Alrighty, Crackerjack Time... The great and powerful David Epstein (author of the NYT bestseller The Sports Gene) has a new book coming out next year that I think is a must-read. If 10,000 hours of practicing anything sounds painful and you're more of a generalist than a specialist, you will love this book. I'll be bothering you more about it in the coming months, rest assured, because it's *that* good. Check out "Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World" here.

Thanks for reading!
Eric

THE WORLD FRIENDLY HUMANITARIAN PEACE AND ECOLOGY MOVEMENT.